Tantalus Depths: my review

     Sooo I have a confession...

     I've had an advance copy of this book for a while now. I kept meaning and meaning to get around to it, and kept having other things demand my attention. Then I FINALLY (sorry, Evan) sat down with it last week, and once that finally happened I could not put it back down - tragically exempting work, sleep and food.

     Fast forward a couple of days. I hit the apex of the story. At almost 1am with about 5 chapters left to go, I grabbed a glass of wine, my pajamas and the book, and settled in to finish the adventure before I went to bed, white knuckling nearly as much as the heroine of the story.

     What is this story about? A mining crew are sent out to establish a colony on a planet, Tantalus 13, which will stake a claim on that area of the planet for their employers, Exotech Industries. An AI unit known as a SCARAB (Self-Constructing Autonomous Resource Acquisition Base) was sent ahead 2 years before to serve as a base for the crew and assist them in their mission. Once the crew reaches the planet however, Mary Ketch, the mission's pilot, starts noticing oddities about the planet and SCARAB. Soon the rest of the crew start picking up on oddities within the planet - and determine that they have to explore the new findings - and find out what is hidden within Tantalus 13. But in doing so they will find themselves in very deep over their heads, and SCARAB seems to be acting strange... which with an AI, is never a good sign. When patterns start to show up in the crews' data files and SCARAB's behavior, some disconcerting questions start to come up - but who can Mary voice them to, when SCARAB hears every word she speaks?

SCARAB drone

       Cleverly and vividly written, with elements from classic sci-fi, solid scientific footing, a touch of horror/thriller, and a strong female protagonist who would make Joss Whedon proud, Tantalus Depths will draw you in until you're as deep into the story as the characters exploring the unnatural world.

     Pre-orders and more information are available at https://www.inkshares.com/books/tantalus-depths, and you can find Tantalus Depths on facebook as well here.

Half-cooked?

I was reading the copy of "Morning & Evening" my Mom got for me this morning, and the passage caught my attention almost immediately.

Speaking about Hosea 7:8, which says "Ephraim is a cake not turned"  confused me at first, since I was thinking about cakes being baked, not flipped like the more accurate image of a pancake. In fairness, I'm not my shiny self in the morning. The machine's running, but the software's still booting up.

Spurgeon goes on to say "A cake not turned is soon burnt on the side nearest the fire, and although no man can have too much religion, there are some who seem burnt black with bigoted zeal for that part of truth which they have received, or are charred to a cinder with a vain-glorious Pharisaic ostentation of those religious performances which suit their humour. The assumed appearance of superior sanctity frequently accompanies a total absence of all vital godliness. The saint in public is a devil in private. He deals in flour by day and in soot by night. The cake which is burned on one side, is dough on the other." (Spurgeon,  "Morning and Evening" unabridged, page 350)

After the events of the past few weeks, the first thing that leapt to my mind reading this was Wesboro Baptist, the claimed "church" that speaks hatred non-stop, often finding the most horrible thing they can do to spread their message and going above and beyond. The people of this organization have been so held to the fire that they have charred black, and yet are so obviously undeveloped in any area other than their hatred for people they feel can never have God's grace and love that they can be defined only as raw; a cake not turned.

These misguided, sorry people can only scream how God will judge the world, and neglect the words of Christ such as "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" (John 13:35) They look spiritually much like Two-face:

For anyone unfamiliar with the D.C. villain from Batman, Two-face was a good man named Harvey Dent at one time, but through a tragic series of events became horrifically disfigured, and even worse - was driven out of his mine, now leaving everything to chance on the flip of a coin. (I won't go into the specific events; that's DC's job and they did it pretty well already)

Also half-cooked like the Westboro Baptists, Two-face loves random destruction, but unlike the Joker won't act out of pure chaos - he has to flip a coin to make any decision. Where does this tie in with Westboro?

The people in Westboro Baptist believe that God only loves some people and despises others. Which is already not biblical, but even further, they don't believe that this is based on their choices but by some cosmic flip of a coin at their birth. They believe God loves them, so long as they jump through all of his hoops and pray long enough, hard enough, they will be assured Paradise. This is called "predestination", and basically removes free-will from the human equation altogether, and makes a liar out of Christ when He said "For God so loved the world..." Not the Jews, not His followers, not Westboro Baptist - the world. Period. Any and all. They can choose not to love God, but He already loves them.

Anyone who would picket a funeral, whether of fallen armed forces, children killed in a school shooting, or the 49 killed at the Pulse night club in Orlando, Florida, does not serve a God of love. They serve only their own agenda, which is to stir up hatred and bigotry wherever they go. Seeing bikers and other people standing together forming barricades to prevent them from spreading hate and pain, people who often have little in common other than the desire to allow mourners to grieve in peace, is a powerful image of how love is far stronger than their hate. 

These half-baked, charred people are not the only ones of their type though, and often Christianity is seen through the lens provided by people like this - people who see themselves as righteous, as though they deserve God's love while others deserve no consideration from God or them. Sadly, it is often the case that these will be how people interact with Christianity. Is it any wonder when we hear such things as "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ"? (Mahatma Gandhi) We serve a God who, when confronted with an adulterous woman who was to be stoned, told those present that a sinless man should cast the first stone; when all walked away leaving the shaken woman, he asked her where her accusers were. Gone? What a surprise. But what he says next should have changed history: 

"Neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more." The perfect, sinless man tells her HE DOES NOT CONDEMN HER!!! He doesn't tell her "God hates you and your lifestyle," He doesn't say "You're a piece of filth and lucky I don't zap you with lightning here and now." He tells her the He does not condemn her, and tells her to simply repent. So how do we, with our charred spots and our uncooked pieces in our imperfection, have the right to condemn those we speak to? 

Running - for people who hate to run

If you'd asked me a year ago to ride a horse or take a martial arts class, I would have been jumping up and down in excitement. If you'd asked me to go on a bike ride with you, I would have been on my bike in a heartbeat.

But if you'd asked me to go for a run, I would have looked at you like you were speaking Gaelic. "Run? Me? No thanks."

And while running still isn't my favorite thing ever, I do go out 3 times a week an run, and I can honestly say that I enjoy it. I love pushing myself just a little bit harder each time, and I love being outside in general. So today I'm going to give you a list of things that helped me start running:

Bluetooth Headphones - I can't say how valuable these are. You can find a decent pair for $10-$20 online, and it takes away a lot of hassle - no more tangled headphones in your bag or pocket, and you won't get the chord caught on everything you walk past (unless that's just me that happens to).

Arm band - For holding my phone/key/money if I'm running to a store, since most workout clothes don't have pockets, and I wouldn't trust these things not to fall out of a pocket while I was running.

Geeky shirts - For Christmas my best friend got me a shirt that says "if I'm running zombies are chasing me", and I bought myself a tank with a Charizard that says "installing muscles, please wait." It sounds silly, but I love putting these on for my workouts. And if I'm going to wear the workout clothes, I might as well do the workout too, right?

Zombies, run! - What can I say, I'm a gamer, and I love stories. This definitely covers those bases, I'm currently using the couch to 5k version since I can't run very far yet. Since each week changes and I get an item after each "quest" (run) it feels like leveling up. Once I finish the last week I'll switch to the original app and run 2-3 times a week with that.

Great music or a podcast - something that you will enjoy listening to while you're out running. 

Good shoes - whether you run barefoot or in shoes is a personal choice, but if you do wear shoes make sure the ones you have are good - you won't want to run ever again if your feet or shins hurt when you get going.

Other ideas - 

Audiobooks - I haven't used them running (the Zombies, Run! apps don't work with Audible or Overdrive), but I know other people who use them for runs and I use them during times when my hands are busy, but my ears are open. The two apps I use for audiobooks are Audible (obviously) and Overdrive, which is less well known but free. Overdrive is an online library access site for eBooks and audiobooks, but because it is tied to your library available material does vary quite a bit. 

(WheezyWaiter talks about using audiobooks in his runs, and recently read/suggested Ready Player One. I highly recommend it as well - great book, and Wil Wheaton's voice is perfect)

Get a dog - Rescue a shelter dog. Just make sure your furry friend can keep up before taking him for a long run! As always make sure you have the time and money to care for the dog you get, but if you can you can improve your own health while rescuing your new best friend from a life behind the bars of your local Humane society, like this gentleman did - saving both his life and the dog's. (Fair warning - you may want some tissues for the video.)

Love thy (white/Christian/American) neighbor

Toward the end of his masterful book World War Z, Max Brooks "interviews" a Cuban who describes a flood of refugees running to Cuba during the crisis, fleeing to an island refuge away from a mainland overrun with the undead. We hear a lot about refugees these days, but we never think that the refugees might be "like us." In the case of World War Z, they are us.

In the nightmare going on in the real Middle East currently, there is a massive flood of refugees, running to anywhere that might take them - Greece, Germany, Jordan, anywhere they can go to escape the hoard that has taken over their homeland. They are fleeing for their lives, most have left nearly everything they own, and many have lost loved ones along the way, as the video below by John Green describes at one point (video credit to the Vlogbrothers)

These are people like us, often with cell phones. Some have claimed that these phones proove that things aren't that horrible for the refugees, but most these phones are no longer on a network, since these refugees have had to spend whatever they had to try to get to safety (which often isn't so safe, as the iconic image of a drowned 3 year old child that brought the bulk of western attention to this crisis in the first place shows). They keep these phones charged, not for making calls, but to see the pictures they have of the loved ones they've either left behind or lost along the way. To them, these phones and photos are items from a previous life - one of comparative prosperity and peace, rather than chaos.

Once these people get smuggled out of their home country, they have a long, dangerous journey ahead of them, boarding rafts that are not seaworthy to reach lands that may or may not accept them. After all, they're not "like us"

Running the race - finish line

This is where I usually take my runs for a couch to 5k program I'm using right now (Zombies, Run! 5k). 

The training is there to help me get to the point that I can run for more than a few paces without keeling over and huffing and puffing, which I couldn't do before I started this. I'm on week 5 now. But running here (which happens to be right next to my house, and the safest place I could wish for) definitely reminds me of something every time I visit:

Eventually we all reach the end of our race. Whether we do a good job or not, whether we try hard or not, all of us reach the end of our race. But like in any race, just because you finish, doesn't mean you do it well. And "well" for one person may be ENTIRELY different from "well" for another.

I could try to run a 5k right now, or could have tried several weeks ago before I started running 3 times a week. If I'd tried then, I would have been walking nearly all of the race, and my time would have been horrible. (Hence the training) Even now, if I tried I'd only be able to run about half of the race with frequent walking breaks.

And when I finish the last week of the program, even though I'll be able to run the entire race, I'll never be as fast as a lot of other people who run because it's their favorite activity in the world. But for me, someone who has never been a runner and is currently trying to get in shape to take care of my body and to have a basic level of fitness for other activities, running a 5k will be phenomenal. But more importantly, running that 5k will mean I have enough stamina to go back to other things I love, like climbing and martial arts, though I'll still have to run regularly if I want to keep the endurance.

Paul told us that in a race, everyone runs, but only 1 person comes away with the prize. Run in such a way as to be the winner in your race. For different people that race, and the prize, look very different. (1 Cor 9:24)

For me, running the fastest 5k isn't my goal, nor is it the end of my race, and in truth I don't know what the end of my race even looks like. The true end of each of our "races" looks very much like the picture above - but let's run in such a way that at the end we can say "I ran my best race, and now I go to claim my prize." After all, what's left here on earth doesn't matter much anyways when your body's permanent residence is 6 feet under, so make your race a good one.

Aaaaargg, anxiety dreams!!!!

**sorry for lack of postings - as mentioned in the last post, I have a lot of growing to do on my blogging schedule, there's a reason I don't do this professionally**

**this post is mostly my random thoughts, please take it at face value 

Late last year I signed up for a whole semester of classes. I was excited, the classes were fascinating, and then I realized that it was almost finals, and I hadn't been to a single class and didn't know what was going to be on any of the tests. Then I woke up.

I graduated in 2012.

So why did I still have a dream about something that hadn't applied to me for over 2 years? And why did I have a nightmare about something as unlikely as signing up for a full semester, attending no classes, and not being dropped from any of those classes before finals? I'm not a psychologist, I don't know the answer (I don't know that a psychologist would know the answer either mind), but I thought these were fascinating questions nonetheless. 

I know I can get anxious about grades, and that certainly wasn't the first time I've had a similar dream (I had it at least once a semester in college), so my first thought is that I was stressed at the time, and school was something my mind already knew how to stress about very, very well. I was going through a few stressful things at the time (my then roommate and semi-adopted aunt was moving across the country, I was looking for a new roommate, and my schedule had been switched again from 1st shift to 2nd, nothing too dramatic) but it wasn't the same stress as finding out my dad had cancer, or getting kicked out of the place I'd lived, so maybe it was enough stress that my mind wanted something to freak out about, but didn't have any one thing big enough to do so over out of the current events? No idea

About R3forged

Photo credit - The-5 on DeviantArt

R3forged is a project that's been on my mind for some time, as someone who was a wanderer and found a lot of lessons out the hard way. I've been struggling to find a name for the project and start it, I knew I wanted to share my personal struggles in a place where they might help other people either figure out what's happening to them, or even understand a struggle they've never personally had to deal with. I'll also probably give opinions on other things on here and do more random, fun items that have been on my mind for a long time.

I picked the name from 2 things - one is the Biblical concept of God purifying us through trials, like steel being heated in a fire, folded and pounded over and over again to be turned into a strong blade. The other place is Lord of the Rings, when the elves finally reforge and rename the sword that cut the ring from Sauron's hand - the blade that the dark side thought they would never have to worry about because it was broken made whole, and ready for battle once more.

Things to know here -

1 ) I am NOT even close to perfect. There will be a lot of things I say here that a lot of people will disagree with, and guess what - they might be right and I might be wrong!

2) A lot of the content on here will be dealing with very adult problems, such as addiction to pornography and struggling with witchcraft. If anything I write is something that is a trigger for you, or you're another Christian who's afraid it may cause you to stumble in your walk, please feel free to close the tab and skip the blog. I promise not to be offended. I'll try to make sure all of my blogs have descriptive titles and labels to help there.

3) I have a horrible track record with keeping up with blog posts... We'll see how well I keep up with this one. Please have some grace with me for at least the first few posts as I'll probably be a bit behind until I get into the swing of things. I am going to be starting this blog before going back and restarting Crafty Ninja Studio (which is crazy behind) because of the subjects that have been on my mind to write about, which don't fit a more laid back crafting and reading blog.

I'll try to start with about 1 blog a week, and go from there.